Wednesday, 22 April 2009

Silly Witches

What do you call a hedge-witch who eats too much cake? 
A hedge-hog.


I know; it's a terrible joke - but it's had me giggling throughout lunch. Blame Tal for emailing it to me.

Its arrival was timely, as I was already relishing an evil chuckle or two following a conversation with a Wicaan acquaintance who is unemployed having walked out of a job. I won’t go into the reasons why she left; too long a story. Anyway, she was bemoaning her lack of cash so I suggested she perform a working to attract a job to herself.

She stared at me as if I had grown a second head. “That’s not allowed!”

“Why ever not?”

According to X (as I shall name her here), Wicaan beliefs forbid the use or any magic to benefit themselves.

“So if you were ill,” I said, “you wouldn’t use herb lore to help heal yourself?”

That’s different, she said. That would be ok.

So I likened getting a job to a form of healing; after all, she would have been healing her bank account.

“But using magic to earn money is wrong,” she said, totally adamant.

And why is that?

X’s reply was little more than a re-drafted hotchpotch of Xtian beliefs which cast money as a negative thing (despite both the Anglican and Catholic churches being extraordinarily wealthy and enjoying a tax-free status). X’s version added a mention of Karma and the perils of using magic for materials goods. Quite what these perils are remains undefined.

So I said, “According to your theory, it’s wrong for a witch to use magic to earn money. By the same theory, it would also be wrong for a plumber to use plumbing, or for a doctor to use medicine, or for a typist to use typing to earn money too.”

“But that’s different,” said X. “Those are practical jobs.”

Exactly! If magic isn’t practical, what is its value?

A few short hours later, while prodding my Facebook page up-to-date, I came across one of my relatives grumbling about pretty much the same thing. So here was another Wicaan-sans-job. I replied, “So much for your skilled use of witchcraft, hmm?”

From her response, it seems the connection between the two had never even occurred to her - hence my chuckles even before Tal’s hedge joke arrived.

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